Posted by: Norm | May 16, 2010

Shape-Up

As you grow older, things change.  I know, hold the presses . . . I just had an original thought.  NOT! 

Things do change.  That mass of muscle, once draped across my chest like chain mail armor, has now fallen to a more equatorial location.  My once proud hair-line is slightly receding toward the northernmost pole.  After three years of cross-country running in high school, I’ve ever so gradually lost the stamina and, what they call, “the second lung” phenomenon.  Instead, inclines look more like craggy passes up the Eiger.  Downhill is even hated because I know I’ll have to come back this way to my car, home or business.

Gorgeous tells me her hip joints hurt and I’ve noticed she doesn’t stand quite as straight as she once did.  The hair has grayed but her face is just as soft as the Coz Man’s bottom.  The stamina she once had as a rower at North High School in Wichita is just about gone.  She forces me to dance and we’re huffing-and-puffing by the time we’ve finished “The Last Dance”.  Sounds ominous, doesn’t it?

Well, paint a red S on my chest and wrap a cape ’round my neck.  All that’s gonna change.  We purchased “super shoes” yesterday.  We now “rock” when we walk and I’ve never felt a shoe more comfortable in my life.  Looking a lot like a “moon boot” with a curved sole, these “state-of-the-art” walkers are dy-no-mite for what ails ya.  I will fight anyone who looks at me sorrowfully, shakes their head and says, “Oh Norm, I didn’t know you had foot problems.  Orthopedic have come a long way . . . right?”

Here’s the scoop on Skechers Shape-Ups:  Firms calf muscles, reduces cellulite and tones thighs, firms buttocks muscles, strengthen the back, improves posture, improves blood circulation and tightens abdominal muscles.  What they don’t say is that you are now 1 1/2 inches taller in them.

Taking walks simply feels better.  Can’t wait to see how they work out.

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Responses

  1. Yeah, and if you believe all that hipe, I’ve got some swamp land in Florida to sell you! Let me know how that shape-uppy thing works out for you, Mr. You Gotta Be Kiddin’.


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